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:iconkyo-hart: More from Kyo-Hart

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Submitted on
December 29, 2012
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" I have to call the police," I whimpered with tears still running down my face. I knew I had to call them but then I stopped to think, because it was my word against Vincent's and his groups word, if they get rid of the bodies. This made me freeze, and think hard on what might happen then. With these thoughts, more tears spilled from my eyes and fell to the ground. After awhile of my friends trying to calm me down again, I told them what happened at my house before I called Adamo. They remained quiet for quite awhile after I finished telling them. All Gilen did was pull me into a hug and tell me it will be okay. "They will pay for what they did, (name)," Adamo snarled with more rage, anger, and hatred then I have ever seen. He got up, walked over to where i was, and hug me a second time!
As he was hugging me, I got a small amount of italian spices and pasta aroma. This aroma made me feel safe and warm in side. "Well, (name) needs a place to stay, so who is up for letting her live with you," Lutz informed in, with the knowledge that it wouldn't be with him and Gilen. The others just looked at each other, and then Louise spoke up. "(name), can stay with fratello, Andres, and I," Louise exclaimed with his voice still holding that girly tone of his. I looked at both, Louise and Adamo. "Would Andres mind me living with you three," I quivered still afraid of the spainard, after meeting him just once. All I got as a reply was a smile from Louise and a no from Adamo. I smiled at the thought that I would be living with my best friend.
As I walked home from my friend's house, or as I should say my new home. Adamo keep an eye on me, to make sure I didn't  freak out again. However, Louise was going on and on about all the wonderful thing we will do and stuff. With in a hour or so of walking, we saw the house and Andres outside waiting for the two italians, and luckly before Adamo killed Louise. "What is (name) doing here," Andres inquired with that montoned voice of his, that he uses to hide his emotions. I have only seen him show emotions around Sil, and he  becomes the opposite of his normal personality. Sil and I are good friends but she stays away from mostly everyone but a few people, except when she drinks to much vodka, then watch out.
"I'm living here now," I stated with a bold voice, but was terrified out of my mind. Andres walk forward, towards me, and the one thing that was goign through my mind was, 'where is Sil.' Right as he was about to stop in front of me, Sil comes running out with a frying pan, screaming something about France spying on Austria. "I think she has had too much vodka, again," Adamo mused at Sil's craziness, but I was wondering where she got that from, still it was funny seeing Andres running after her.After helping Andres catch Sil, we all went to bed because of all the running wore us out. I was in the guest room, or my new bedroom as Louise, Sil was in Andres' room as he was in Louise, with Louise locked in the closet. Adamo was in his own room with all his knives.
After a restful sleep, I was awoken by someone jumping on me. I opened my (e/c) eyes to see gold eyes and blonde hair in my face. "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD," I howled with shock and surprise filling my voice. As I howled, I hit my head full force into the wall. With the pain now filling my nerves, I let out a very long list of swear words. "(Name) is saying bad words," my childish friend, Kim, giggled while her boyfriend ,Lutz, laughed. I looked over at Lutz and  glared as darkly and evily as I could. "I will never know how you put up with that pervert, Kim," I growled still glaring at Lutz. Kim just looks at me innocently, like she doesn't know that Lutz is an out of the closet pervert. I mean if you look at his room, it is covered in things unmentionable to a non-pervert.
2P Spain: Si......
2P Romano: Sil is owned by pinkniles,
2P N.Italy: Kyo doesn't own nothing but the story and herself,
2P Germany: And Kim is owned by Josephinethestatuete
Me: I need a writer's break....
2P Axis: NO!?!?!
Me: WHY!?!?!?

Part 1: [link]
Part 2: [link]
Part 3: [link]
Part 4: [link]
Part 5: [link]
Part 6: [link]
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I think your story has a very good idea and is progressing at a good speed. One thing that bothered me though was that you keep introducing new characters. I think you should decide on who your main characters are and stick with them instead of introducing several new people ever chapter. It's just geting confuzing.I also think you should try to reveiw your story more because there are alot of grammatical errors. And the final thing is that I appreciate that your trying to make the story seem more mature and paint a picture for the readers, but you don't have to describe everyday things like orange juice and the school bus. Other than those things, I think your story is great and that you should follow it through to the end. Good Luck!
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Clove-the-ninja Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist Interface Designer
Good start super cute, and terrifying.  I think you should keep going!
More?Pretty please?With a ice cream banna sundee and three cherries on top?! :iconbegplz: :iconicecreamplz:
More please~
RavenSoeng Nov 19, 2013  Student General Artist
mas porfavor nessecito mas mas mas mas quiero mas
DoitsuIWANTPASTA Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
who is Sil???
Kyo-Hart Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sil is one of my close friends' oc. 
DoitsuIWANTPASTA Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
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